The Tiny Giant: Learning To Tame The Tongue
Have you ever heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"? Yeah… not exactly true.
I grew up in Italy, where I spent 20 years. I completed my schooling there, up to college. I’ll never forget my Italian language teacher in middle school—although I was quite the handful—her sharp, belittling words sank deep into my heart. I carried the sting of those words for years and they created insecurity, rejection, and a lie that I wasn’t enough.
Words have power. And if we’re honest, we’ve all been on both the receiving and giving end of hurtful speech, that is why it is important to learn to tame the tiny giant called the tongue.
The Wonder of the Tongue
Let’s start with a few fascinating facts about the tongue:
It’s made of eight muscles, highly flexible, with no bones—yet incredibly strong.
It’s covered in tiny papillae, housing 2,000–10,000 taste buds.
It detects five tastes: sweet, salty, sour, bitter, and savory.
It heals faster than most body parts due to its rich blood supply.
Like fingerprints, every person’s tongue print is unique.
But beyond its physical characteristics, Scripture tells us that the tongue holds the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21). Not many things—or people—wield such incredible power, but this tiny part of our body has the power for incredible impact.
So why is it so hard to control this small but mighty muscle?
The Weight of Our Words
James 3 opens with a warning: “Not many of you should become teachers…” Why? Because those who use their words to instruct others will be held to a higher standard. That’s not just preachers on a platform. That’s parents, mentors, leaders, influencers—anyone who speaks into the lives of others.
Words shape lives. They can lead, build, crush, or divide. There are several Proverbs in the Bible that back this point:
“The tongue of the wise brings healing.” (12:18)
“A soft answer turns away wrath…” (15:1)
“The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life.” (10:11)
James continues by saying that we all stumble in many ways, and our words are often where we stumble most. None of us are exempt from putting the proverbial “foot in the mouth.”
What we say—and how we say it—reveals our spiritual maturity.
We need wisdom before we speak, and this is a reality that is especially true in the church. What we say holds significant weight, so we must speak with care, discernment, and wisdom. We must ask ourselves: Are our words necessary? Are they kind? Do they bring healing or harm? And if the answer falls short, it’s time to reconsider our words.
The Power to Steer Lives
James uses vivid imagery to illustrate the power of the tongue:
A bit in a horse’s mouth—small, yet it controls a powerful animal.
A rudder on a ship—tiny compared to the vessel, but can steer the course of large boats.
A spark that sets a forest ablaze—it takes just a word to set off devastating consequences.
We’ve all experienced the destruction a single comment can cause. But the reverse is also true; a timely, Spirit-led word can set someone on a godly path, or encourage them to keep moving forward toward their divine purposes.
I’ve witnessed this truth firsthand. As a teenager, my youth pastor took the time to speak words of life and affirm my calling into ministry—and it changed the trajectory of my life. That’s the power of the tongue when it’s used rightly—when it’s used in a godly way.
Let’s not forget that our tongues were also made to praise and worship God! Worship is a beautiful expression of our love for Jesus, and it is a powerful way to use our speech to glorify God. Our gatherings are opportunities to turn the direction of our hearts and our speech toward heaven. Worship is powerful!
The Danger of an Untamed Tongue
James doesn’t sugarcoat it when He says that the tongue is “a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” He compares it to wild, untamable birds, reptiles, and sea creatures. These are some examples:
The Cassowary—the most dangerous and aggressive bird with deadly claws.
The King Cobra—venomous and deadly.
The Great White Shark—powerful, unpredictable, and untamable.
James makes it clear that we cannot tame our tongues on our own, the same way as we cannot tame a cobra or a shark. Our sinful nature speaks impulsively, critically, and often carelessly. Even the most soft-spoken among us can inflict harm with a few well-placed words spoken with an angry or bitter tone. In fact, being soft-spoken does not exclude a person from having a tongue that is “a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
So what’s the antidote? We must crucify the flesh daily (Galatians 5:24), putting to death what doesn’t honor God (Colossians 3:5), and invite the Holy Spirit to help us practice self-control—a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).
The Duplicity of Speech
Here’s where it gets really convicting: “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness…” (James 3:9-10)
How can the same mouth worship God and then tear down His creation?
James says it shouldn’t be so, that we should not behave in such a manner. Just as a spring can’t produce both fresh and salty water, and a tree can’t bear two types of fruit. As children of our Heavenly Father, we represent Him on the earth, and our words should consistently reflect our love for Him and our faith in Jesus.
Philippians 4:8 gives us a good filter: think (and speak) on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. We can all challenge ourselves to do what the Bible says.
So What Do We Do About It?
The tongue is powerful. It can heal or hurt, build or break. But we’re not powerless. Here’s a simple tool to help guard our speech—I call it the T.H.I.N.K filter:
T.H.I.N.K.
T – Is it True?
H – Is it Helpful?
I – Is it Inspiring?
N – Is it Necessary?
K – Is it Kind?
Let’s submit our words to God daily, asking the Holy Spirit for wisdom, restraint, and love. And, let’s also be people whose words bring life, not death—healing, not harm.
The world may be wild with careless speech, but by the Spirit’s power, we can tame the tiny giant in our mouths.
Davide Colletta
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Davide is the Senior Leader
at Mission Community Church